Phaic Tan - Cilauro, Gleisner & Sitch - Med SC VGC

Phaic Tan

Sunstroke on a Shoestring

by Santo Cilauro, Tom Gleisner & Rob Sitch

For too long now Phaic Tan has been closed off to the outside world, a country visited each year by just a handful of hardy travellers, aid agency workers and hostage negotiators. Hot humid and covered in lush vegetation it is often described as 'The Armpit of South-East Asia'. Quadrille Publishing, in association with Jetlag Travel Guides, are proud to present the first serious introduction to this undiscovered jewel. A fascinating land of contrasts with one foot in the past and another striding determinedly forward, Phaic Tan truly is a nation going in circles. The book is packed with information for everyone, from the budget backpacker to the luxury traveller. This invaluable, up-to the-minute guide contains everything you need to plan your trip to Phaic Tan, birthplace of the trouser press and irritable bowel syndrome.

Getting There: The national carrier royal Fok Tok Airlines (named after the legendary flightless bird) has worked hard to lift its safety record after a minor incident in 1996 when a plane overshot the runway by 57 kilometres.

Where to Stay: The Orient Star Hotel in the capital, Bhumpatabumppah, is so luxurious that in every room the mini bar comes complete with a live-in cocktail waiter.

The Food: Phaic Tanese cuisine is best described as 'explosive', a fiery mix of chilli, garlic and pepper to which food is occasionally added.

Etiquette: As in many other Asian countries it is considered rude to point with one's index finger. If you need to indicate a direction or signify something, do so with a series of sharp pelvic thrusts which will generally get the message across.