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The Emasculated Male -Male View of a Marriage Breakdown

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Item number:310110489650
Item location:Moreton, QLD, Australia
Posts to:Worldwide
Last updated on 12:03:51 AEDST, 19 Nov, 2009 View all revisions
Item specifics - Non-Fiction Books
Format: PDF File on DiscPublication Year: --
Subject: Family & RelationshipsSpecial Attributes: --
 DivorceLanguage: English
 --Condition: New
The Emasculated Male
ISBN 0-9757574-0-7
 
 
A male account of a marriage breaking down as
documented in a daily journal over the final
months before separation - events that
result in a father of 6 children
leaving the family home
and later in divorce.
 
A story from the Borscht Belt of
Caulfield, Victoria (Australia)!
 
Topics covered include:
 
* marriage and compromise
 
* physical relations and sexual
contact in marriage
 
* love and trust in marriage
 
* respect for each other's past -
professional and social
 
* marriage and the mother-in-law
 
* raising children and teaching them
respect and responsibility
 
* the changing role of the male head of a
house-hold as the socio-economic
situation of the family changes
 
* the effects of a failed business on a
marriage buying a house beyond
one's budget
 
* religion and hypocrisy
 
* meeting with a social worker
and psychiatrist to try and
save a marriage
        *********************
         
        From the Introduction to this publication:
         

        T

        h    e

         

         

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        e   d

         

         

        M

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        e

         

        Following is a collection of thoughts and feelings regarding my family, my wife, my children and myself. Many of these have been in my head for a long time, but for numerous reasons were never spoken or relayed to anyone until recently.

         

        The reader should not try to read too much into these, but rather accept them for what they are - thoughts on marriage, relationships and bringing up children

         

        ...I am 40 year of age, married and I have six wonderful children. In just one month, I will have been married for 15 years if I am still with my wife. I say this as it appears my marriage is heading for a breakdown.

         

        In view of events of the past 18 months, and their effects on me, my wife and on my children, I started to reflect on the past years of married life. I came to the decision that writing these thoughts down could assist me in trying to analyse what has taken place, and also help me try to ascertain what has gone wrong.

         

        I also felt a need to put these observations on paper following what I felt was a failure on the part of family, friends and even professional care workers to understand or acknowledge what was happening in my marriage, and, an inability on their part to help me save my marriage.

         

        A week or so after starting this project, I thought that possibly what I was writing about could be of interest to others and, more importantly, be a useful tool to care workers in the area of social work and marriage guidance counselling. I believe I have raised numerous topics and questions which at various times could explain a (Jewish) marriage breaking down.

        *********************
         
        From the Foreward to the journal:

        T

        h    e

         

         

        E

        m

        a   s   c   u

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        M

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        As might be expected, Mendl Chaimowicz is not the known name of the writer of this publication, although in a different set of circumstances it very well could have been.

         

        Born to a father from Poland who survived the Holocaust, and a mother from Switzerland, Mendl chose to use the first name of his grandfather, and the given family name of his father. Had he grown up in the shtetl (Jewish town) of his father, Mendl Chaimowicz may very well have been the name he is known by today.

        *********************
         
        Comments from a published writer on this manuscript:
         

        “I have read the entire manuscript, and can’t see any reason why you should not publish. It is a raw account, but its rawness makes it real. It’s also very clear, given the journal format, that your feelings are expressed in the moment, confidentially to the ‘Janet’ in your journal more than to the Janet in real life. It’s written in the way that journals are – no holds barred, expressing things you might not otherwise express to anyone else, exploring the darker side without fear of committing it to paper, using the journal as a way to work through the stuff and to slowly – very slowly – get some insight and make small steps towards understanding some of the dynamics involved in the breakdown of the relationship. It captures the dynamics of the relationship breakdown very well.”


        “As such, I don’t see anything you’ve written as being hurtful. You expose your own rawness, vulnerabilities, issues, and – between the lines – your own blind spots as well as your wife’s…”

         

        “…No-one could read this account without gaining a deeper understanding into your experiences and feelings at the time, and this can only be enlightening in a helpful way, I believe, to your children (now that they are grown) and to others going through a relationship breakdown…”

         

        “…At first glance I didn’t like the title. It didn’t grab me, but as I read your book I realised the title is perfect. Emasculation was at the heart … of all your experiences. The title drums it in.”

         
        *********************
         
        This recounting of events in the months just before separation, and later divorce, makes for interesting reading - it provides an insight of what a father of six is going through as he watches his marriage breaking down not long after a business collapse.
         
        The writing is frank, open and often blunt - not much is held back and may offend some. Understanding the pressure and mental anguish at the time of writing is paramount and goes some way to understanding comments made regarding in-laws, religion, physical relations, professional help etc. 
         
        There will be those who will empathise with the author and there will be those who won't, however, unless you have been in the same or a similar situation, making a judgement call on the feelings and emotions of someone going through a harrowing time would be most unfair.
         
        This, in fact, is one of the reasons the author of this publication decided to release the material - to try and fill a gap in the literature of material that relates to the effects of a marriage breaking down and the loss of a family from a male perspective.
         
        The author is not looking for sympathy, but rather understanding of how such a situation as related in this publication can affect the mental state of a man - a mental state that often can lead to tragedy and in the case of this writer could very well have resulted the same way but for the caring support of family and close friends who helped him through the initial period of despair and depression.
         
        Read this publication with an open mind and try and understand that there are always two sides to a marriage breakdown - this happens to be a husband's/father's side.
         
        *********************
         
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        *********************
         
        This item will be put onto a disc as a PDF file and sent by registered mail.
         
        The PDF file will be formatted so that the article can only be read on a computer screen - it will not be possible to copy, edit or print the PDF file. Please keep this in mind when making a purchase.
         
        You will need a copy of Acrobat Reader (or similar program) to open and read this file.
         
        Acrobat Reader is available free of charge at: www.adobe.com.au or www.adobe.com
         
        Please make sure you have this program on your computer and if not, download this first and test it and make sure you understand how this program operates before bidding on or buying this item.
         
        Acrobat Reader is a universally used programme and is easy to use once dowloaded on your computer. It is required to read any document sent over the internet by email as a PDF file and is also used to open documents on numerous web-sites on the internet.
         
        This publication has been registered and is copyright and has an ISBN - No part, excerpt or section of this publication may be re-produced without permission from the author and/or publisher.
         
        Should you have any questions, please ask them before bidding.
         
         *********************
         
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